Have you framed your diploma?

Celebrate yourself more often

So I recently did something rather mundane that has had an oversized impact on me. I went to Hobby Lobby, bought a frame, and finally framed my college diploma (after graduating 5 months ago).

It’s only been a few days since I framed it, but naturally I leaned it up against the wall on my desk and it sits in front of me when I journal and use my laptop. For some obvious-yet-not-so-obvious reason, being able to look at my diploma while doing other things has made me feel proud of myself. It’s been a quiet reminder to me that I graduated. It’s been a new addition to my workspace that somehow adds tremendous motivation. I gave that feeling of pride a little bit of thought, and I began to think about how important it was that I framed my diploma.

A bit on me…

Growing up, I was very privileged to have the opportunity to try many different things, and I’ve had the pleasure of also being relatively successful at many different things. I played chess when I was younger and was even the Under-10 National Champion at the peak of my career (when I was 9). I play steelpan and have been successful in playing gigs in a band and as a soloist. And more recently I was Headboy at my high school, and I graduated from Cornell.

Typing those sentences above made me feel some level of discomfort.

And that’s because while being given so much opportunity, I’ve also been raised to be humble. I don’t gloat, I don’t parade my achievements, and sometimes, when I achieve things, I don’t even celebrate, because I’ve set a standard for myself so high that it’s almost as if success should be expected in whatever I pursue. Honestly, that’s been something that I’ve had to unlearn, especially as I get older and learn to become comfortable being a beginner at many things again.

As I enter the real world, I’ve had to reset my standard from “perfection in all things” and be more realistic in order to be more compassionate with myself. I’ve had to learn how to stop taking success as a given, and to give myself the flowers I deserve when I accomplish things.

The Diploma Lesson

Of course, I’m not always successful. And of course I’ve failed at many things throughout my life. But I also think that growing up, there’s many accomplishments in my life that have been set as “expectations” because of the context in which they occur. And this is where I found the “diploma lesson”, as I’ll call it. It’s less of a lesson, and more of a perspective. So maybe the “diploma perspective”? I digress...

As I’ve gone through life, I’ve hit a bunch of little life milestones: I got my drivers’ license, I graduated from high school, I got into college, I graduated college and I got a job. Woohoo! You’ve done exactly what you were expected to do.

You’ve done exactly what the life laid out in front of you intended for you to do, institutionally or to an extent societally at least. No big deal.

Except, let me say that again, but this time with the diploma perspective.

1. I passed my driver’s license test after taking months of lessons at age 16!

2. I completed 7 years of high school and graduated on time!

3. I did the SAT and the ACT twice, got a great score, wrote great essays and got accepted into one of the best colleges in another country!

4. I finished 4 extremely challenging years of intense study, endured remote learning through a global pandemic and graduated on my initial intended graduation date when I started college!

Are you seeing the difference?

The resume dilemma

When I was applying to internships and jobs, one of the biggest dilemmas I had was exactly this. I knew who I was as a person – someone who’s been successful without a doubt – and I have experiences that will certainly be an asset to whoever’s hiring me. However, because I don’t always “frame my diploma” it was hard for me to articulate my skillset and my experiences in a way that was super compelling.

I learnt this when I read some of the resumes of my peers.

I thought it was incredible how people celebrated themselves and their achievements. It was incredible how some things that, to me, didn’t seem very impressive, somehow sounded like a life-changing, heart-winning endeavours on their resumes.

Yet while I had similar experiences to my peers, somehow I couldn’t translate it into words.

And that was because my expression of my experiences was directly correlated to my interpretation of them and how I felt about them.

I didn’t feel like the things I was doing were anything impressive, so why would I phrase them in such a way? It wasn’t in my nature to gloat, so building a resume (where you should by all means be gloating) didn’t come naturally. I just didn’t feel impressive on paper because I just didn’t feel impressive to myself.

Back to the Diploma Perspective

So what did framing my diploma teach me?

That random feeling of pride that I get when I see my diploma as I’m doing something extremely mundane? It taught me to celebrate myself a little more.

When I look at my framed diploma, I’m proud of myself. I went through those 4 years and came out the other side. It’s something that absolutely should be celebrated. Was it a reasonable expectation that I’d graduate college? Maybe so.

But was it a given? Absolutely not.

There’s a lot of people without their driver’s license. There’s a lot of people without a high school certificate. And there’s a lot people of who didn’t go to college and a whole lot more who didn’t graduate. That’s not to knock those people, but rather to put your own accomplishments into perspective.

The society that we live in will oftentimes impose expectations on us to the point where we don’t feel like they are accomplishments. Or sometimes after some time has passed, we might forget what it took for us to accomplish something, especially because we didn’t celebrate enough when it happened.

Conclusion

Don’t let society’s implicit expectations prevent you from celebrating when you do something you should be proud of. Don’t let anyone prevent you from celebrating yourself. Be proud of your achievements and accomplishments, all the way from the little ones to the milestone life-changing ones.

Frame your diploma. Give yourself those flowers.

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