Scuba diving reminded me of this one life trick

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Happy Sunday and thank you for opening this week’s #TheLifeofJLOWE newsletter - from under the sea! (cue the little mermaid steelpan) 🤿 🪸 

As you’re reading this, I’m in currently in the ocean off the coast of Key Largo, suited up to get my PADI Open Water Scuba Diving Certification. I’ve been studying the whole week, went diving in a lake yesterday for the first time, and have been learning the fundamentals of diving and all the safety procedures, to finally cross this off my 300 before 30 list.

Now I’m gonna be real with you, like many of you, the ocean terrifies me. When I swim at the beach, I don’t like going too deep because I don’t know what’s out there swimming with me. Everyday as I prepared for this moment, anticipating getting into the open water, I couldn’t help but think about how scared I was of the vast unknown that is the ocean.

So this past week, I’ve had to remind myself over and over - that’s exactly why I’m doing this.

What’s on the other side of fear?

Let me pose a question to you - do you think humans are naturally risk-takers or risk-averse? 🤔 

I’d say we’re naturally risk-averse, but I’ve definitely met some people in my life that have made me think otherwise. Myself, I’m naturally risk-averse.

Like lots of you, I sometimes over-analyze and overthink things, causing me to get analysis paralysis and scare myself into not doing something. I’ve talked about this a bit in the past, in my newsletter on “The 51% Rule” which helps me to make decisions without going through that overthinking phase.

Honestly, the overthinking phase is over-rated.

In the past few months of my life especially, I’ve learnt that the conflict that I have in life is often not in the decisions that I have to make, but rather in the time leading up to those decisions. The decision itself isn’t the conflict; the conflict is what exists leading up to the decision.

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What happens in the time leading up to a “big” decision?

When I reflect on some of the “big” decisions that I’ve made in my life so far, whether it’s what college to go to, whether or not to study abroad or whether or not to resign from my job, they all have one thing in common: the anticipation period.

As you lead up to the “deadline” (sometimes real, other times arbitrarily set by you), you begin to weigh all the pros and the cons as to whether this is a decision that you really want to take. This is perfectly normal, and honestly, my recommended way of making "big” decisions in life as well. Think everything through - and by everything, I mean everything - so that you have all the information at your hands to know what the consequences of your decision will be. This is not the anticipation period.

What I’m calling the anticipation period, is the time after you’ve weighed all the pros and cons. That period of time in which your heart and gut are telling you to do one thing, but everyone else is telling you to do another thing. Or when you tell yourself “I’m really 50-50" between both options” but deep down you know that’s a lie and you really are leaning towards one option.

The anticipation period is that time when your body and mind have made a decision, and for some reason - society, friends, social norms, family or someone external to you - is influencing your own personal decision.

The goal is to shorten the anticipation period, or eliminate it altogether

Full disclosure, I think the anticipation period is a waste of time. Yes, I of course experience it as well, but in reflecting on those “big” decisions, I think a lot about how that time that could have been used more productively, had I not been paralyzed by overthinking when I already had all the facts and was past the 51% threshold to make a decision.

Here’s a quick example from my own life recently:

“Should I start a Youtube Channel?”

Pros: potential for new audiences, monetization/ad opportunities, new medium to add another facet/aspect of my personality to my brand

Cons: people might laugh at me, people might talk bad about my videos, people might think I’m not interesting and not watch my videos

Immediately after listing that (non-exhaustive) list of pros and cons, you and I can both see that the decision is clear. I should start a Youtube Channel.

BUT…

I had that thought in January of this year, and I posted my first vlog 2 weeks ago. Why? Because I thought my video quality might not be good enough. Because I’m not good at editing. What am I going to record? My life isn’t interesting to anyone but me anyways. Nobody misses me when I don’t post, so do I even need to post consistently?

And guess what - I could’ve had 36 videos/vlogs (other than my music) out by now if I had posted one video a week when I had the thought in January, instead of being paralyzed in the anticipation period, trying to decide whether I should’ve started the channel week in, week out.

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Conclusion

Scuba diving is something I’ve always wanted to do. Like, always. Here’s the pros and the cons:

Pros: I get to see a whole new part of the planet, I get to see new animals, experience something absolutely magical like weightlessness

Cons: The ocean is scary, what if a shark eats me?

As you guys can see, I’m past the anticipation period. In fact, as I said, I’m exploring the ocean for the first time in my life right now.

There’s a ton of things that come up as we make decisions in our lives, and during the anticipation period, one of the most common emotions that I’ve experienced is fear. Fear of embarrassment, fear of rejection, fear of danger, fear of loss (and btw, this isn’t to say that all fears are irrational).

In fact, when making decisions, I’m a strong believer that there is a healthy level of fear that you should have, just to be sure you’re not making poor decisions.

But what you shouldn’t do, especially for the decisions in life that your gut, your heart and your soul are clearly pushing you towards, is let that fear control you. You have to be able to conquer your fears, one by one, to be able to grow, thrive and ultimately create the life that you want for yourself.

So what’s on the other side of fear? For me, right now, it’s the vast, magnificent ocean.

As for yourself?

Well, this week’s a great time to go find out. 😉 

Until next Sunday,
Justin