Would you from 10 years ago be proud of you today?

Happy Sunday & thank you for opening this week’s #TheLifeofJLOWE newsletter!

Happy Easter Sunday to you as well if you celebrate! I hope this Easter season is full of blessings and peace for you! 🐰 

Catching up with an old friend

This past week, I had the opportunity to catch up with an old friend from my childhood, who I haven’t seen in years. We talked about what we’re both doing in life, and the conversation was reflective and allowed us to look back at how far we’ve come from when we were kids on the playground, and even to discuss what our futures could look like going forward.

Conversations like those are like therapy for me, because they allow me to reflect through a particular lens, and ask real questions about my life from a growth perspective looking back at how far I’ve come.

When you get a chance to catch up with an old friend, you automatically step back into the person that you were all those years ago in order to revive the context of your friendship to be able to bond over the differences between now and back when you knew each other.

It’s incredibly powerful, because it forces you to actually consider whether you’re happy with the changes that you’ve seen in your life, and oftentimes also to evaluate for yourself whether “the old you would be proud of you today”.

Considering who you are today, and how that differs from who you were a few years ago

Something we always hear is “change is the only constant”, which means simply that change is inevitable. Maybe the changes that you’ve experienced are small and you have to dig deep to discover what they are, but there’s a 100% chance that the person you were 10 years ago isn’t the same person that you are today.

After I finished my undergrad and started working my first job, the question I kept asking myself is “Would 15 year old Justin be proud of where I am in life today?”.

Oftentimes, the answer would be - “well, it depends on how you look at it…”, and as that answer slowly morphed into a “No", that’s when I began to recognize that it was time to make drastic changes in my life and leave that job.

Asking yourself that question is a good way to measure up where you are, because the answer to that question is flexible, and can often change based on where you are at any given point in your life. For example, for me, when I was at Cornell, and I asked myself that question the answer was always “Yes”. I was proud of where I was and happy that the decisions and actions in my life had taken me to an Ivy League university.

But then, that answer changed when I found myself working at a bank, almost on auto-pilot, chasing someone else’s definition of success after graduating.

I don’t know where I’m going but I know I’m going somewhere

They always say hindsight is 20/20, and when I look back at the events of my life it appears that there has been a cohesive story throughout my life that has somehow found its way together. In fact, when you think about someone’s career, oftentimes it seems like they had it figured out from the very start - gaining experience in something that would lead to something bigger until they eventually got to the level of success that they’re at.

In reality though, when you talk to those people, you realize that life kinda just happened to them, and one thing led to the other so they ended up where they are. And it’s funny, because retrospectively everything can seem so intentional, but in reality, as much as you might try to plan your life out, you can never adequately account for the millions of different situations that life can potentially throw at you.

So, as much as you plan, just be content with the fact that you’re going somewhere. You might be studying to be a lawyer and later become a content creator, or graduate as a veterinarian and become a motivational speaker. (Those are two real-life examples, btw).

Going somewhere is enough, so long as you go with intention and don’t allow life to just happen to you. Sit in the driver’s seat, even if you don’t know what your final destination is.

Conclusion

Catching up with an old friend is a blessing, because oftentimes we don’t get to see people from our distant past in contexts where you’re able to have a conversation at great length. For me, it allowed me to delve into reflection about where I’ve come from and where I’m going, and to re-examine where I’m at.

Without constant evaluation of your present, past and current state in life, you set yourself up to become stagnant, and let life happen to you. You end up in a position where you feel helpless, and like life is driving you instead of the other way around.

Checking in with myself at various intervals has always been the most important aspect of my own personal growth and maturing, and having the bias to action to actually make changes is the secret to affecting real growth.

Are you proud of yourself today?

Would the you from 5-10 years ago be proud of where you are today?

If you were to catch up with an old friend right now, would you be excited and passionate about telling them how your life is going for you now, after all those years?

Consider your answers to those questions, and reflect on where you are today. Look back at how far you’ve come, and if you haven’t moved as far as you would have hoped, put your foot back on the gas pedal and drive.

You’re in the driver’s seat. And don’t you ever forget that.

Until next Sunday,

Justin